Pozole-ish and then some

Throwing in what you got... and see if some magic happens

Yesterday morning, upon looking in the fridge and thinking, what the eff am I gonna do to feed myself and the fam tonight - I stared at a heap of pulled pork from our past weekend gathering. (In our backyard, that can now seat people!) Whaaat. This is big ya’ll. Image below because this is a big party time YES!

Me in our partial set up of patio furniture. Chairs have since been built. :)

The thought landed upon me as I closed the fridge door…could this…be a pozole moment? Have I made it before? I don’t think so. Did I have hominy? No. But, I had other fun things. Like corn, tomato paste, cilantro, peas, peppers, cauliflower, carrots, hella onions - you know, a spring smattering of flavors and ingredients. I could even make my own broth with some chicken backs in the freezer. Eff it. It was settled, a pozole-ish soup was happening at the end of the work day.

And ya know what? It was a mad good af dish!! And dang it, I was proud of myself.

But I was not only proud of the delish flavors, but I was stoked on my “time management” which included having the work day in a good spot and dinner ready before school pick up. Because, yeah, no…that is not always the case.

This particular day had been one of those whirlwinds - phone calls and emails, one after another from early morn until the afternoon. I was left buzzing on adrenaline, decisions, and conversations. It reminded me of how efficiently I am able to operate in these conditions, though also having to remind myself to breathe. Gotta have that flow and balance, amirite? The day felt like the ingredients I had pondered earlier in the morning. Coming together, making sense, even if not certain of the outcomes, but trusting myself and my processes.

A feeling washed over me while chopping onions. It was warm and gratifying. The making of this soup had become a meditation. And I was reminded of a joy I would experience in cooking life pre-parenthood. Cooking in the past, had always been my place of freedom, creativity, and peace. Legit one of my favorite personal activities. Many days after work, I would find my way into the kitchen, staring at the contents available to make a meal. My favorite kind of meal? A “What’s in the Kitch” meal. ;) It was exciting and always a labor of love.

Admittedly, postpartum, I had lost that feeling. A factor I have cried over and have been questioning how I find my way back. I had placed more weight on myself and the responsibilities of being my son’s mom, a good partner, and also a solid employee of a place I really enjoy working alongside wanting to cook yummy things - but wanting to take my time, without having to place my attention anywhere but on the slicing, dicing, sautéing, simmering, etc. I kept struggling (perhaps fighting?) the fact I did not have the same environment and time as I once had in the years past.

The magic in the seemingly random. As shown by my lil dudes art flow.

Well, this life of motherhood likes to remind me every day - changes are always coming, phases come and go, so take in those beautiful moments when you feel them and effing adapt, man. Growing is hard. But as a friend reminded me and a girlfriend the other day, we can do hard things. (Even it sucks sometimes).

Whatever the case may be, this pozole-ish meal, felt like a reckoning. The beauty in the madness, the ability to make magical things happen without having to worry about the perfection, having it all together, simply enjoying the process, and if lucky, relishing in the happy family “yummy” comments.

Here is to more of those moments. Cause this cooking mamma is feeling the fire.

xo

G